#mygirrllfrieenndddsss

Cool Story...

When I was in elementary school, I didn’t like befriending girls. In my mind, there was a direct correlation between femininity and weakness, and because of this, I rejected everything that socially reflected womanhood. Often times, this was dismissed by family as me simply being a Tomboy, but the reality is, I was actually just a baby mysognist jerk. 

Before I continue, let me note that explaining my rationale for this, is another post for another time, so I won’t go down that rabbit hole :-)

Anyway when it came to anything girly, I was NOT having it. Pink? Nope! Make Up? Gross! Barbies? Ehhh- well I wasn’t a damn sociopath. Of course Barbie was cool. Barbie was a damn Mechanic and a Doctor and a Model AND she lived in her own Fold N’ Fun House, where Ken could come over and visit whenever she wanted because Barbie didn't have no DAYUM parents! #Bossshit… But girl talk? #AbsofucklinglutelyNOT! The idea of sitting on the perimeter of the playground discussing, boys, clothes, tv, babysitters club and boys (I know i said it twice), made my stomach turn. It was emotional. It was girlie. It was not respected by men, and therefore I didn’t respect it, either. (I know…total baby asshole).

I was a jerk, to not recognize the importance of some good girl talk at such a crucial stage in my pre-pubescent life. I probably could have finessed the whole, “holy shit I have boobs thing” a lot more smoothly, had I chopped it up with some elementary school homegirls, first. Perhaps I would have got fitted for a bra, before Zack Tulles blurted it out that "THEY BOUNCED" to the whole damn 3rd grade class or something. Who knows?! Horrifying and confusing. I didn't know they weren't supposed to bounce!

Honestly, at this stage in my life, in-depth discussions with my favorite lady friends has saved my life AND the lives of many people on my ever evolving “hitlist”. This list is comprised of a few exes, a few jerks on the subway, I argue with subliminally, and maybe an entire company that I hated working for several years ago. Seriously, I’ve had to be talked off several ledges that led to jail and/or a psych ward. For instance, that night I found out my ex-was engaged the the person he cheated on me with 🙃. The only thing that convinced me to cancel the Uber ride from Brooklyn to Jersey, to Waiting to Exhale the shit out of his car; was some good girl talk. You’re welcome sir. Thank the village for sparing you. 

Outside of talking your girlfriend’s off of a ledge, who else is better equipped to recognize the #badbish in me, than the #badbishes in my sister friends'!?  That's a real ass question too. Namaste is cool and all but, that Sistaslay lifestyle is lifesaving and changing. Because, we just can’t trust men on this one. Sorry not sorry. Sometimes they get it, and most times they don’t. Their values aren’t aligned with the core values and vision of bad bishism . It's deeper than beauty, It’s deeper than career, it’s deeper than finances and ass curvature. It’s a combination of all of those things and none of those things. Its complex and clear at the same time. When you see it you know it, and if you have some bomb ass friends, they’ll remind you that you got it. 

So I'm going to take some time to sistaslay some homegirls that deserve it. Because they coulda been friends with anyone in the world, but they chose me, and I appreciate that. HOV!