In 4 months, from today, 120 days after today, I will be 30.

I will officially have lived long enough to be someones mama, and definitely somebody’s Aunty. I am also old enough to be in the same club at the same time with my own mama and my own aunty.

I will have lived long enough to tell grown ass teenagers about the days of typewriters, Oregon Trail and about the rise of social media, beginning with AOL Chatrooms. A/S/L anyone?

I will have lived long enough to tell people about my memories of major world events in the last 3 decades, like watching that white bronco get chased by police in ’93, or how that black out in ’02 was all shits and giggles til all the popsicles melted, or that time we elected that brilliant man with the brown skin and funny name. Yup! we actually had a smart president! For 8 years! Can you believe it?! He was black too! I know right! CRAZY! Voters had sense back in the day!

I will have lived long enough to know that Donald Trump used to be your favorite rapper’s favorite millionaire to your favorite rappers favorite person to shit on in their music lol. Seriously, does Nelly still want Donald Trump to let him innnnnnn’uh. Do people under 30 even know Nelly?

I will have lived long enough to actually say, I used to read word up magazine and it not just be because I’m reciting lyrics from the Notorious B.I.G. Actually, I will have lived long enough to actually know who he is.

I will have lived long enough to not only feel nostalgic about my high school days but my college days. Actually, I’m pretty sure “back in the day” will soon become apart of my regularly scheduled story openers. See above.

I will have lived long enough to realize I remember my mother when she was my age. Like seriously! I knew Sonia, when Sonia was 30 lol. Thats some real shit to digest lol.

I think I will also will have lived long enough to begin giving less fucks. Not that I had that many in my bag at the present moment, BUT I assume they depreciate more quickly once you hit your 30s.

I will have lived long enough to see bullshit from a mile away, smell it from 5 miles away and opt out of it’s fuckery because, ain’t NOBODY got time for that. Whatever that may actually be. CeCe Peniston’s Keep on Walkin’ has new meaning now.

I will have lived long enough to be shocked when children curse. Especially the ones under 5 feet. Actually this has started already. That shit is just fucking outrageous! Mind your damn manners!

And last but not least. I will have lived long enough to realize I have so much more life to live, growing up to do, and memories to acquire. I positively CAN NOT wait.